Learnings from someone who isn’t a natural networker!
Whether you’re a natural networker and who thrives on meeting new people or you find networking awkward and avoid it – I think we can all agree that it is important and beneficial. It can help with career opportunities, sharing and building knowledge, receiving feedback, raising your profile and building confidence.
I’m not a natural networker. Don’t get me wrong – I love building meaningful connections and maintaining strong relationships, but it’s the new connections and striking up a conversation with a stranger that I’ve found daunting at times. As you can imagine, having a strong network is an important part of being a recruiter, so I knew I needed to step out of my comfort zone when transferring my fundraising skills and knowledge into a new role.
Networking used to feel scary and awkward for me, but I’ve learnt that it doesn’t need to. Instead, it can be incredibly useful, enriching and meaningful. I’m certainly no expert on this topic, but I’ve been learning from others, so thought I would share some insights.
Be a giver, be helpful, be authentic
I recently listened to a podcast by organizational psychologist, Adam Grant. I was instantly grabbed by the title: Networking for People Who Hate Networking, and the opening line: “The idea of networking has always made me a little uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one”.
It’s worth a listen if you’re interested in effective (and less awkward) strategies for building connections. Here are some of my takeaways:
Build your knowledge
Having good knowledge of certain topics is going to give you something to speak about and share with others. There were many examples of this in Grant’s podcast and he says that ‘when you build a network by making deep connections based on the sharing of knowledge, the benefits are often reciprocal’. It was also mentioned that this is not only about going to a fancy school or gaining experience over many years – you can learn fast and add value.Be a giver, not a taker
Always look for an opportunity to add value and help the other person. One of the guests on the podcast said that when meeting people, rather than the standard ‘what do you do?’ question, she would ask ‘what’s your biggest challenge’. By approaching networking this way and asking about problems that needed solving, more meaningful connections were made. That gives you the opportunity to help, share a story, article or research that might be useful, or connect them with someone else in your network.Build connections that are meaningful, not just transactional
People can have different mindsets when connecting with others. It can be about an instant trade or transaction, ‘I’ll do this for you now, but then you do this for me, or owe me a favour” – but perhaps the most meaningful approach is to focus on building real connection. The ideal outcome is that both parties invest in the relationship and help each other. A strong network will then be about long-term connection rather than one-off transactions.Always be authentic
Being authentic in all interactions is important. If you’re going with the strategy of being a ‘giver, not a taker’, you actually have to care and genuinely want to give and help. If you are only being a giver for show, people will see through it and feel used. Or if you’re asking for advice from a connection that you’ve met, it needs to be authentic; it won’t work well if you’re not interested in the advice.If you're the one that needs help, bite the bullet and ask
As you can probably tell by now, there was a big focus in this podcast about building your network by being helpful to others. But of course, there are times when you are the one who needs help. And that’s okay, and you should bite the bullet and ask for help – Adam Grant in fact suggests that it can help strengthen and broaden your network. He says that seeking help doesn’t need to be transactional and that there are ways of asking for help and expanding your network at the same time, ways that leave everyone feeling valued. To listen to the full podcast, click here.
Stepping out of your comfort zone to build connections
I recently heard about Kaley Chu and have found her story fascinating. After a humiliating situation because of her shyness, she gave herself a challenge to have lunch with 100 strangers to push herself out of her comfort zone and start connecting with others.
A few things about her journey that stood out:
It’s amazing what happens when you get out of your comfort zone
Anyone can build a network and make meaningful connections with people (even if you are shy and starting with a small network)
Do things…be interesting! Before going on this journey, Kaley said she felt like a boring person with absolutely no stories to share. She worked on finding her passions, asking questions and trying new things – she’s now ran a marathon, tried skydiving, joined a mud run and written a book. She says it’s led to a life that’s a lot more interesting and opens up conversations when meeting new people.
You just never know what can happen when you connect with people – it could be your next job opportunity, a chance to be introduced to new people that expand your network, a way to learn something new or an opportunity to help someone.
Quality & Quantity… 500+ LinkedIn Connections
Networking via LinkedIn is powerful, but like in person, it still takes effort and personal interactions. The first 500 connections are the hardest to get, but once you reach it, your public profile displays 500+ connections, and only you can see how many. The more 1st connections you have, the more 2nd, 3rd and so on, as well as the benefits of a larger the audience to see, share and like your posts, opportunities, events and blogs. Happy to report that I reached the 500+ milestone. I also secured my current role through LinkedIn interactions, and now connect with candidates and clients here. If you would like to connect with me via LinkedIn, click here.
During a lockdown when we can’t physically meet with people for lunch or coffee or connect at meetings, events and conferences, I have found LinkedIn, Webinars and Zoom Coffees to be wonderful ways to connect, learn and explore ideas.
Plan, Commit & enjoy
I’ve been focusing on building relationship, being natural and conversational in my approach, connecting people, being helpful and looking for ways to add value. For me, it’s something that I have needed to plan and commit to. And now…. even though I still have to push myself, building my network and meeting new people is something that has become enjoyable and just one of the many great things about my job.
It’s the meaningful, long-term connections that are most beneficial and rewarding.